Secret
by UnhealthyIntrigue
Summary: Itachi's thoughts, his secrets, and the reflection. His desire, which would never match Madara's. In the end, he knew what was to be done. For his dear brother's sake. This story is a companion. Itachi x Sasuke. Madara x Itachi Oneshot.Light Lemon.


(This story is the companion to my other story, Witness, told from Madara's point of view. This is told from Itachi's eyes. Please read Witness first, if you're interested at all. Reviews are always appreciated, and constructive criticism is quite welcome.)

Secret

Dear brother, I'm filthy.

I was made to be dirt beneath your feet. I was directionless until your birth. Until that moment when mother slipped your small, new, fragile, little body into my eager arms, I had no meaning. I looked down upon your fresh face, your little red cheeks, your eyes, still that newborn blue. You gazed upon me with the silent wonder of a new child taking their first sleepy glimpses of the world. That moment when you, in your clean white blankets pressed your tiny face closer to me and closed your eyes in innocent acceptance, I felt reborn.

I made a vow to myself that I would always protect you.

I made a vow to you that I would always love you.

And so it was.

Blessed with abilities much higher than that of my peers, I could find only pain. The adults told me that I could be an asset, a weapon.

But I did not want such a thing.

I only wanted to be the shield for you, my dear, quickly growing little brother.

With each passing moment, and the quickly advancing years, this became all I could ever want. I knew, however, that this could not be. Behind the back of our village, and your innocent smiling face, mother and father hid ambitions for death and their own selfish prosperity. When I looked into their eyes, behind the soft caring of a mother and father, I could see the longing for glory. They looked just like our ancestor in his tapestry paintings. Those were eyes full of cold blood thirst.

They wanted me to be like them, but I so carefully, so deceitfully refused them. I knew what their pride would lead to, and I would give anything to stop it. Oh, dear brother, I loved you too much to let it happen. I knew then what had to be done, and it broke me. I would stain you myself. It was the most painfully twisted of concepts, but I knew what was to be accomplished. Oh, dear brother, I loved you too much.

As the time approached, I often found myself wavering. Could I really do such a thing? Could I really dispose of my own flesh and blood? Perhaps it was because I really was nothing but a powerful child. My heart was still too weak. As I was about to give up, however, you would always be there.

Your smiling little face, as you gripped my hand in your much smaller one, with eyes so full of faith in me that I could not help but love you all the more. Your eyes, the same color as mine. Your pale skin, and your countenance that resembled mother's. That little kind heart, all your own. I loved all of it.

"I love you very much, big brother!"

All I could do was hold your hand tighter and continue along the path home beside you.

"Sasuke, I love you too."

That was just the night before. I brought you home, I helped you with your schoolwork, then helped wash your back in the bath. Then I clothed you and tucked you securely in your bed for the last time. Before drifting off to sleep, you said your last declaration of love for me. I gave mine to you. Finally, when the pace of sleep eased upon your features, I kissed you. You tasted of the light mint of your toothpaste, and your lips were soft, and so slightly trembled. The inexperience of it all was so charming.

In my dreams, my utterly twisted fantasies, your lips were so sweet, so eager. I needed not to ask for them to part. In fact, you would beg for the action. Your slender arms would wrap around my neck as I bent to your height. My desire was twisted, but you were ever so clean.

That evening, I dreamt such a dream.

The next evening, I betrayed them.

I was filthy.

I killed them.

And you saw.

You gazed up at me, pleading for the truth, so afraid, so broken, and yet I could not give in. Firmly, I lied to you. I destroyed everything we ever were. Everything we ever could have been. I severed all our ties, only to create a new and final one, the color of our family's blood, which now stained my hands, my clothes, the floor, and your little feet.

With this new, hateful tie, I bid you to come for me.

Then I left you, before I could break.

I hid myself away from the village then. I knew my course of action, but was in these days after so overcome with grief. What I did not count on was the presence of my ancestor, the one of the tapestries that I so detested. He had been watching. He had always been watching.

He knew.

In his eyes, however, I could see that ambition had long been dead. Now was only bitterness born from a life lived far too long. Such a look in his eyes almost made me pity him. He told me that he had wanted to continue watching me. He seemed to pity me as well in his own way. I could care less. I had my own business to take care of. That moment, as I stood from beneath the shade of the oak tree under which I had taken shelter from the rain, he asked me what I was to do now. My answer was the simple truth.

"I will die."

My answer seemed to take him aback, and invite his curiosity. His gaze back at me was like a promise to follow until he knew the truth.

That was how I met Uchiha Madara.

He continued to follow me, which I somehow felt might be better than loneliness that would have awaited me. Often we were silent. In all, he was just curious, so I did not turn him away. He became my confidant. He held all of my secrets, and did not question them. He knew me better than even you, dear brother.

He had even the audacity to call us lovers.

I did not allow myself to feel such a thing. If I was to be a slave to any emotions, then it would be the ones I held for you. To affirm the emotion I wished you to hold for me, I came back to see you. Just as I had desired, hatred had taken root in your heart. With time, it would be this that made you strong. I could not, however, hide my sadness at your broken state. Still, beneath all of your negativity, I could see the innocence of your earlier years, held together by your ignorance of my truth. That was enough for me.

It was that visit that finally prompted you to pursue me as I had been planning. Now all to do was wait.

And in those years of waiting, I could feel my body giving in.

To sadness, regret, your hatred, and a contracted disease. All I could do was keep myself together and wait for you. Madara remained with me, keeping my body from expiration. He had grown a greater attachment to me than I would have allowed now. He held me possessively, and in him I could sense a bitterness toward you, dear brother, who held my heart.

To quell him, I gave what my heart would allow: my body.

His kiss was demanding of my emotions, despite its initial softness. His touch was the same. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be disrobed, pressed against the cold floor and taken. For every kiss and bite upon my skin, I wished for you, dear brother. For every forced pleasure, I begged for you. As he was inside me, and it so burned and ached with unwanted, foreign heat I desired you. Each thrust was full of need for me, but it was all so futile. I found myself only feeling pity for my ancestor now.

At my climax, finally, I dreamt of you, being beneath me, panting and sighing with me. I knew Madara could see it, for he only fell beside me wordlessly, like a man defeated. His seed spilled from me slowly, as if even this mark of possession was unable to secure me.

This final corruption was the last push I needed to you.

Days later, I went to find you.

I lied to the very end to fulfill my mission. In the last moments, I approached you, dear bother. You looked frightened, like you had the night I destroyed it all. You were almost terrified of the power I commanded. Finally, I touched you, one last time. A small poke upon your forehead, like I always had done when we were young.

I gave my strength to you, and fell.

In those moments, while all of it came to a close, I pondered what it would have been like to keep living with you. What it would have been like if none of this had ever happened. If you had returned my first and final kiss to you, what would life had been like? I thought about it, as I felt myself entering a strange sense of being both heavy and light at the same time.

What a beautiful dream.


End file.
